Friday, December 28, 2012

Dear Santa - Lantz


===========Written December 3rd, 2012===========
Dear Santa,

Here's the deal. I don't believe in you. Not since I was seven years of age did I ever bother myself with the lies my parents fed me of a magically overweight and jolly fellow that travels across the world delivering present to every girl and boy that writes them a letter. You may be wondering why I would write a letter to someone I don't believe in. Well, the answer is simple; while I don't believe in you, I do believe in irony. I love irony in written word. Anywho, if I recall, the rules of this game are if I'm a good boy for a whole year you'll give me things and stuff that I desire. So while I've been less than honorable this year with copious amounts of debauchery, it should be no surprise that I don't expect much from an already imaginary man, but also that my wants in the plastic-crack department involve the Chaos God of Slaanesh. So let's get to it, shall we?

The Emperor's Children is where it's at Santa. And while my list is short and simple, it ain't cheap. So if you do exist and wish to prove me wrong, this is the year to do it.

I'm a Rhino Rush enthusiast, so first I'll need some brand spankin' new doors:

And I'll need bodies for the guys inside those Rhinos, so...

And some sweet-looking shoulder pads:

Ooo! And Noise Marine pads too!

And maybe some extras for good measure:

There's really no Slaanesh without tentacles:

Finally, while I truly hate Kickstarter because I'm incredibly impatient, if you could somehow get me this model so I can use it as a Chaos Spawn that would be great:

And that's about it off the top of my head. Like I said, I don't believe in you and therefor expect nothing, but if there's a chance I'm wrong now's the time to prove it, buddy.

Sincerely,
~Lantz

===========Written December 25th, 2012===========
Dear Santa,

Screw you.

Yours truly,
~Lantz

4 comments:

  1. See my comments to HOTpanda re: Santa and crazy. You got of light - coulda been a severed horse head or something...

    Reply
  2. Hahaha best Santa letter yet! I approve sir.

    Reply
  3. Could be worse; Santa could have left you one of those atrocious-looking Dark Angels "Fantasticar" speeders. ...

    Reply
  4. Santa is a bitch.....

    Trade it in to a GW for some fine cast noise marine parts or something.

    Reply